Another Wednesday, Another Wish

imagesIs there a day in the week that finds you consciously wishing for something? A day that, fifty-two times a year, you dare yourself to make a wish? If I had such a day in my calendar, it would have to be Wednesday. Wednesday is that sad little day right smack dab in the middle of the five day work week. As I’ve retired, there are no work days in my life anymore, as everyday is like a weekend day.  But having a Wishing Day is something to think about …  something I can give to myself … to remember that we all have the right to wish.

A wish isn’t a responsibility. A responsibility is something that we feel we must at least try to accomplish. For so many years, decades, really, I felt many responsibilities. As a young child, I felt it my responsibility not to get lost as I wondered the city during summer days. I felt it was my responsibility not to get hurt, at least not more than a bandaid would cover. It was my responsibility to show up for lunch when I was hungry, or to come home if a rainstorm turned thunderous.  As I moved through the school year it was my responsibility to remember to do my homework, and to study for the weekly spelling and arithmetic tests. It was my responsibility to find my shoes under the bed, and to find clean socks in the fresh laundry basket. As I grew beyond student years, it was my responsibility to choose a direction that others would allow, and then to choose someone to love for life. As a mother it was my responsibility to love and feed, clothe and bathe my little ones while they were little ones, and to teach them to do the same for themselves as they grew able to do so.

A wish isn’t an expectation. An expectation is a belief that someone else has a responsibility to fulfill.  As a child I had an expectation that, if I behaved as expected, I would not be chastised, and if I did something well, or helpful, I would be thanked. I had an expectation that my birthday would be remembered with a song and a birthday card. Summers off were an expectation during my years as a student.  As an adult those expectations yielded to others … expectations that were dependent on my co-workers … expectations that others would work as hard as I would, and that together that work would lead to success. An expectation could often steer an effort in that way ~ choosing a career that would provide for those I loved and yet leave me enough time to spend with them.

A wish isn’t a belief. A belief is having faith in something … with reasonable experience that leads one to believe it is possible, even probable. A belief in the tooth fairy is based on the experience of having received dimes under a pillow when teeth have been lost. A belief in Santa is based on having received a present every Christmas morning. A belief in finding a true love is based on having grown up witnessing such love in a family.

A wish is not a goal. A goal is something achievable, or not achievable. An achievable goal is something worth working toward, something that will  cause one to develop the strength and skills to reach that goal. An unachievable goal is a waste of thought, an impossibility that will lead only to frustration. Goals that are achievable are those that are based on self-awareness, responsibility, skills and practice. When we have reached our achievable goal, whether within a season or over the course of a lifetime, what we have left are wishes.

A wish is not something to be granted by someone else. When someone else meets their responsibilities and it benefits you, that is their accomplishment, and a gift to you.

A wish is not always something that someone else can grant.  A granted wish is something finite, tangible and moderate. A wish that is easily fulfilled is not truly a wish. A genie in a bottle can fulfill material wishes. Tinkerbell can fulfill magical wishes. Neither can fulfill a true wish.

Sometimes a wish is something that can be granted only for oneself, or not at all. A wish for happiness is a wish from within, and cannot be provided from without. If granting a wish for oneself is at the expense of failing to fulfill your responsibilities to others in your life, the wish fulfillment will be hollow, and without purpose.

A wish is something that is still ahead. It is a reason to keep living. It is a reason to keep striving. It is a reason to keep reaching, and to keep wishing. A wish is very much like a dream waiting to come true.

What will you wish for, on this Wednesday, the day for wishing? Click here for a little inspiration.

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2 Comments

  1. True motivation relies on a very different set of factors: they’re intrinsic in nature, much harder to measure, and may even be unique to you. Being given the opportunity to shoulder responsibility and work independently. The ability to learn and grow. And, perhaps most important of all, doing something you think is meaningful. Understanding that our minds work in this way &#8212 that there’s not a single spectrum all the way from “love it” to “hate it” &#8212 but rather, two spectrums that are at work completely independent of each other: one which will cause us to be dissatisfied (extrinsic) if absent, and another that will cause us to love what we do (intrinsic) if present… well, learning that has totally changed the way I think about my working life.

    • Thank you for your thoughtful response, Madeleine. I don’t know what the symbols represent, but I think your comment and this post are complementary to each other.

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